For as long as I can remember, I knew I was going to homeschool my children. School and I did not get along. I mean, I was "successful". . . I graduated. But I hated every moment of it. I hated girls my age. I hated sitting at a desk. I hated lining up. I hated seating charts. I hated bulletin boards. I hated cheerleaders. I especially hated getting up early.
I always felt like I never learned anything useful at school. I didn't know how to do wash. I couldn't balance a check book. I had no idea how credit worked. I was a terrible cook. I had a difficult time making relationships work. I felt completely unprepared for life. I spent the better part of my 20s wandering aimlessly trying to figure out just what the hell I was supposed to be doing.
When my son M was born I knew I had to find a better way. Those first several years made so much sense. It was amazing to watch how much he learned every day just by living. We cooked. We cleaned. We sang. We read. We watched TV. We took walks. We folded laundry. We napped. We did nothing. And yet, he learned. He learned to walk. He learned to talk. He learned to share. He learned colors and numbers and shapes and animals and race car drivers and how to make scrambled eggs and how to grow a tomato and where a pickle comes from and on and on and on. I never taught. We just did. And he learned.
Fast forward to 4 1/2. . . and now comes the fear. Are we really doing this? Can I do this? Can he do this? Right now is the time that most families begin thinking about kindergarten. . . enrollment, magnet and charter school lotteries, home schools, immunizations and health assessments. . . aargh!
I'm afraid I'm not making the right choice. I'm afraid my son will resent not going to "school bus school". I'm afraid that I'll go crazy if I have to spend one more day with him all day long. I'm afraid he'll become interested in something I'm not capable of teaching. I'm afraid he'll be interested in nothing. I'm afraid all he'll want to do is watch TV all day. I'm afraid of park days in winter. I'm afraid.
